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Columbus, Ohio
It's ok Pluto, im not a "planet" either...

7.28.2010

You may be right, I may be crazy...

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."
- Edgar Allan Poe


It's 6 am. I'm awakened by a nightmare, not unusual. All with similar qualities, vivid, vibrant, quite frightening indeed. I attempt to fall back asleep several times, unsuccessfully trying to shake my mind into some oblivion beyond this Texas Chainsaw-esque dream, but I was too far gone. A familiar figure keeps reappearing in my dreams as of late. An ex boyfriend, who I promise I am not still in love with. I'm not afraid to be blunt. You'll figure that out. This happens to me sometimes. I'll dream about someone that once meant something to me, frequently in fact, if we don't talk anymore. The only remedy I've come to conclude that works, is hashing out whatever issues I have with that person. In this circumstance, I'm not interested. He'll fade with time. Everything does. So on with the dream... It's sunny, warm. I'm cruising down a country highway, cornfields as far as my eyes can see. The truck is grey and splattered with rust stains. Two doors. The windows are down, I'm in the passenger seat. The driver is a male, I get the idea that we're romantically involved, but no face or name comes to mind now. We drive for a long time. We stop at a gas station on a remote back road, run by backwoods hill folk. They talk funny. I can barely understand their lingo. I faintly remember having an uncomfortably awkward conversation with the cashier, whom I recall was male. He wore bib-overalls, filthy with oil stains I believe. I got the vibe that he was maybe the mechanic there as well. My companion fills the tank, we continue on. The drive seems long in my dream world. The windows are still down. Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone" is playing. My hand is out of the window, riding the wind. There's a man on the side of the road, he is walking. There's a red gas can in his hand. He has my ex boyfriend's face. I know him in my dream. I call him by name. My companion stops the truck. We offer him a ride. I talk to the hiker, in my dream we are on good terms, like perhaps nothing unpleasant ever occurred between us. I tell him it's odd to see him here, we're so far away from home. He agrees with me, what coincidence. We chat for most of the ride, small talk. We take him back to the gas station from before. He gets out of the truck and fills up his red gas can. He goes inside to pay, but never comes out. It has been awhile, I begin to worry. My companion assures me that he must have ran into someone he knows, he's just busy talking. He leaves the truck and walks inside to get him. I'm waiting awhile, I panic again. I get out of the truck, the door closes with a loud clanky thud. The gravel crunches beneath my feet. I'm frightened. I walk into the store. The bell on the door jingles. I don't see my companion, or the hitcher. The clerk is there. He asks if he can help me, I think he notices the worried look on my face. I ask him where my friends went. He tells me no one has been in the store for days until I just walked in. He grins at me. I loathe it. His grin is malicious, I feel it down to my bones. Confused, I start to walk back outside. My finger tips skim the glass of the door. Someone is behind me. Close behind. Too close. My breathing speeds. A hand grabs me. Another covers my mouth. I bite the hand. I bite it hard, it bleeds. I turn just enough to see who the hand belongs to. It's the clerk. I remember him a bit more clearly. His face is weathered from the sun, he looks older than he is. He screams.... I'm running. I'm running as hard as my heart will pump. I just run. He's following. He follows for a long time. I run to a creek. I start to cross. The water is cold. It's heavy. As I'm wading it starts to thicken, I realize that it's freezing as I stand in it. It turns to ice. I'm trapped. It's frozen all around my feet. I scream. I claw. I claw so hard at the ice my fingers bleed. I can hear his breathing, he's gaining in on me. I keep clawing. I pound the ice with my fist. It cracks, I feel a bit of relief. My heart wants to explode. I'm crying. I'm pleading with my maker. I'll never sin again, please, please, please. I break free.

The end.

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